What to reply to a “hey”
Low-effort openers are everywhere. Here is how to answer one without sounding bored or desperate: pick where you two are, pick a tone, send one of these.
Why “hey” happens
A “hey” is usually not laziness. People freeze, copy what everyone else sends, or wait to see if you will carry the conversation. The reply that works gives them an easy next move instead of punishing them.
The three rules
- Ask one concrete question. Not twenty. One they can answer without thinking too hard.
- Show a little personality. Flat questions get flat answers.
- Match their energy, then raise it slightly. You are the one setting the pace now.
On Instagram
If the “hey” arrived in your DMs, answer it once and then move to their latest story: replying to a story gives you both something specific to talk about, and a dry “hey” never survives that test. The story replies tool in this section covers it step by step.
Do not send
- Another “hey” back. Now two people are bored.
- A wall of text. It reads as pressure, not interest.
- Interrogation mode. Five questions in a row feels like a job interview.
Is “hey” a bad opener?
It is a low-effort opener, not an insult. Most people freeze or copy what everyone else sends. Your reply decides where the conversation goes from there.
What does it mean when someone just says “hey”?
Usually that they froze or picked the default. It says more about openers in general than about their interest in you.
Should I just send “hey” back to match their energy?
Then two people are bored. Match their energy and raise it slightly: one concrete question plus a little personality.
The app coaches you through every message like this one.
Meet Koqeto